🍯🌺 Kickstarter dreams & dog schemes (please send help & air freshener)
Published 25 days ago • 5 min read
Hey there, fabulous human!
So, today took an unexpected turn. There I was, trying to be a good lil author—prepping this very newsletter in fact, whilst innocently working on my Kickstarter and Grumpfest—when suddenly...
Well, let's just say one of my doods dropped some NOXIOUS bombs in my office.
The full, aromatic tale (complete with my descent into amateur dog detective work) is over on Insta if you'd like a giggle.
With pictures.
Spoiler alert: I still haven't identified the culprit, but I have a new appreciation for Max's perpetual grumpiness. 😑
Now, onto less fragrant news...
As you know, I've been diving deep into the world of Kickstarter, and lemme tell ya, it's a journey. Remember when I thought writing a book was the hard part?
Past me was so innocent, so naive.
You know how people say "if you can't explain something simply, you don't understand it well enough"? Well, I just spent 47 minutes trying to explain my Kickstarter plans to Mister Mav, and now I'm questioning everything I thought I knew.
Admittedly, it was a bold move, considering my carpenter hubby has mastered the art of the blank stare whenever I mention anything book-related. The convo went about as well as you'd expect:
Me: "So I'm launching this Kickstarter for special editions of Grumpfest." Mister Mav: continues measuring something Me: "It's kind of like pre-orders but fancier." Mister Mav: "Uh-huh." Me: "With pretty hardcovers and special page edges if we meet the stretch goals." Mister Mav: "Can't people just buy the regular book?" Me: "Yes, but these are SPECIAL." Mister Mav: "Like... they have different words?" Me: "No, same words, different package." Mister Mav: visible confusion "So it's like buying fancy wrapping paper?" Me: existential crisis commences Max in my head: "Are you shitting me? cranky glower Even I understood this faster than him." Dood #1: farts loudly, derailing entire conversation
Anyhoo, if you're one of those who might share Mister Mav's bewilderment (but you're too polite to say so)...
HOW KICKSTARTER WORKS (AS EXPLAINED TO MY CONFUSED HUSBAND AND JUDGY DOGS):
More clicks = more visibility = better chance of success!
Dood #2: tilts head in confusion, buries nose under paw
And for extra credit, here's a handy visual aid.
I've legit been obsessing over every detail of these special editions. Did you know you can get holographic foiling? Because I do now, and frankly, I'm not sure how to feel about this knowledge.
Now, because I strive to provide entertainment and not just shameless begging, I present:
ACTUAL CONVERSATIONS I'VE HAD WHILE PLANNING THIS AMAZING KICKSTARTER:
Me to printer guy: "But can you make the page edges sparkly WITHOUT actual glitter?"
Printer guy: "Ma'am, this is a Wendy's."
Me: Rude.
Me to sister: "What do you think of colored sprayed edges?"
Sister: "I don't know what that means."
Me: "It's when they spray the edges of the book pages with color."
Sister: "... why?"
Me: existential crisis intensifies
Me to myself at 3 AM: "What if NO ONE clicks the notify button?"
Max in my head: "Then you'll have to get a real job."
Me: "YOU'RE not even real."
Max: "And yet here I am, still more practical than you."
Me asking doods for opinions: "Do you think we can make hockey sticks look... angsty?"
Doods, collectively staring at me: ...
Me: "You know, like give them emotional depth."
Doods: tongues lolling, tails wagging, gas gassing
OTHER THINGS THOUGHT OR SAID IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER OF IMPORTANCE:
"But does this hardcover design capture Max's essence of brooding grumpiness?"
"I need a stretch goal that doesn't make me want to stretch myself off a cliff."
"Maybe I should name a stretch goal after whichever dog was responsible for the gas attack"
"What if I'm the only one who thinks hardcovers need to go 'thunk' when closing?"
"Do you think readers will notice if I include 'survived dog gas attacks while writing' in the acknowledgments?"
"How many times can you change your mind about stretch goals before people hate you"
"Is 'noxious green' a valid color choice for page edges?"
"How many times can I text my son mockups before he blocks HIS OWN MOTHER?"
In conclusion: Please, for the love of fictional hockey gods everywhere, click that "Notify Me" button so all this madness isn't for nought!
Collapses in Scarlett O' Hara faint
Plus, early birds get the worm (and the sweet discounts) on launch day, but only for the first 48 hours. Notify! Notify!
In the mean time, should you need me, I'll be alternating between refreshing my prelaunch page stats and trying to convince Mister Mav that my book deserves fancy endpapers "because Lily said so."
Yours in questionable air quality and publishing dreams,
P.S. Max says if I can survive today's canine gas attack, I can survive a Kickstarter campaign. I'm not sure if that's encouragement or an insult, but I'll take it.
P.P.S. For the record, Max also says hardcovers are "unnecessarily showy" but I caught him looking at the mock-ups when he thought no one was watching. Softie.
P.S.S. Don't forget the TampaFlorida Book Signing:Tickets are on sale NOW, happening July 2025!
Grumpfest
By Honey Mavryck
He’s the grump with a broken past. She’s the sunshine that might just save him—if his baggage doesn't destroy them first.
I don’t do smiles. I don’t do team bonding, calendar shoots, or charity events. I play hockey. I stay out of the spotlight. After what happened, I learned one thing: never get close enough to get burned.
She’s the only person he can't resist and the one person he can never have...
Except doing the honorable thing and staying away from Calla soon becomes impossible. Too bad there’s no future for a man and his best friend’s daughter.
Enter Wade James: rich, brooding, and as out of place in Emma's cozy world as a shark at a pool party. A rom-com cocktail of forced proximity and second chances, served with a side of beachside charm.
“I’d rather fight with you than make love with anyone else.”
— The Wedding Date
Psst! Okay, so you made it to the end, but... could you see any of the pretty pictures?
If not, you'll need to add my email, author@honeymavryck.com to your safe sender/contact list. If that doesn't work, hit reply and we'll troubleshoot together!
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