🍯🌺 I hacked Max & Lily’s phones AGAIN (I’m so dead this time)
Published 2 days ago • 6 min read
INTERCEPTED TEXTS: POST-LAUNCH EDITION 👀
Hey there, loyal accomplice to my fictional espionage,
You know what time it is… yep, I’ve once again broken into Max and Lily’s phones! (They really should change their passwords by now, but apparently “IHateAuthors123” and “MaxIsGrumpy4Ever” aren’t as secure as they thought.)
Last time their texts were hilarious, but now that the book is actually out? Their messages have reached new levels of entertaining paranoia.
Max is convinced I’m monitoring everything (he’s right) and Lily has started adding “P.S. WE KNOW YOU’RE READING THIS, MAV” to random messages (also right).
Anyway, since you enjoyed the last time we did this, I thought you’d appreciate seeing what these two have been texting about now that their book has officially hit the shelves. Their commentary on reader reactions is… well, see for yourself.
📱 MONDAY, 8:42 AM
LILY: Morning, Grumpy. Did you see people are actually READING our book now?
MAX: damn. is she listening again?
LILY: Who? 👀
MAX: you know who. the author. last time our texts ended up in a newsletter
LILY: That’s just paranoia talking. Anyway… did you see people are loving the book? 😍 (P.S. MAV, IF YOU’RE READING THIS, AT LEAST GIVE US A CUT OF THE PROFITS)
MAX: fine. what are they saying, sunshine?
LILY: They love it! Especially how grumpy you are. One reader said your character had her “kicking her feet and rolling her eyes at the things you do.” 😍
MAX: fucking fantastic. strangers analyzing my personality.
LILY: You're missing the point. People finally get to experience your charming personality. Your grumpiness is actually working for you!
MAX: my grumpiness doesn't need internet validation
LILY: The reviews are amazing. One reader said our book is one that has to be added to their endless TBR list!
MAX: great. buried under a pile of other books.
LILY: That's how TBR lists work, grumpy. It's actually a compliment!
MAX: if they never read it, it's not a compliment
LILY: Trust me, with your forearms on the cover, they'll move us to the top of the list.
LILY: Still a man of many words, I see. Just like in your previous texts that mysteriously ended up in a newsletter.
MAX: i fucking knew it. she IS still spying on us.
MAX: why would people want a physical copy of our stuff
LILY: Um, because they want to see your grumpy face on their bookshelves? Because signed copies are collector’s items? Because you’re the broodiest hockey player alive and I somehow find that charming instead of annoying?
MAX: sounds like a character flaw on your part
LILY: Also, people are obsessed with that locker room scene in chapter 15.
MAX: …that scene wasn’t even that descriptive
LILY: You know which one I mean. On the bench.
MAX: fuck
MAX: that one
LILY: Yeah, THAT one. 🔥
MAX: fine. maybe people don’t have terrible taste
LILY: THE Max Harrison admitting people might have good taste? Alert the media! Oh wait, that’s literally my job.
LILY: More book stuff! She's being kind of mysterious about the details.
MAX: of course she is
LILY: But we already know there’s character art involved!
MAX: fantastic
LILY: C'mon, flex. The people need to see those forearms, Grump! 💁♀️
Oh crap! They definitely know I’m monitoring their texts this time! Max just sent a message that said “MAV I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS. STOP SHARING OUR PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS WITH YOUR NEWSLETTER PEOPLE."
But you're not just "newsletter people" - you're my trusted confidant!
Besides, what’s Max going to do? He’s trapped in the pages of my book. (Though I am a little worried about what he might say in Jack's book. Poor Jack…)
And oh. My. Goodness. Everyone has been showing Max and Lily so much love. I'm seriously blown away by the reviews coming in. I've loved them all, but I think these two might be my faves! Maybe.
Seriously, the reviews have had me grinning like an idiot amidst a pretty rough personal week (while Max has pretended not to care but I keep catching him secretly checking them every five minutes).
Thank you if you've taken the time to leave your thoughts! And if you've read the book but haven't left a review yet... Max is waiting. Impatiently. With those yummy forearms crossed.
If you prefer physical books (because there’s nothing like holding a grumpy hockey player in your hands), paperbacks are available on both Amazon and my direct bookstore.
Grabbing a copy from my direct store helps support me more directly sans the middleman. Use code BEESBLOOMS15 for 15% off everything in the store!
And don't forget there's a Kickstarter in the works for (hopefully?) August (after the Tampa book signing in July). If you want to be the first to know when it goes live, hit that “Notify Me on Launch” button here:
So tell me… have you met Max and Lily yet? If you’ve already started reading, what’s your favorite scene so far? Hit reply and let me know! (I promise not to tell Max, though Lily will definitely want the stats.)
Yours in habitual fictional phone hacking,
P.S. The dogs just heard me laugh at Max and Lily’s texts and are now giving me serious side-eye. Apparently, laughing at your computer screen when you’re supposed to be filling their food bowls is some kind of pet parent faux pas. #PrioritiesDogs
P.P.S. Mr. Mav just asked if I was “texting those fake people again.” When I nodded, he just sighed and said “Tell your readers I said hi.” Aww, he’s finally accepting my fictional relationships! #CharacterDevelopment
P.P.P.S. Want to see previously intercepted texts? They’re archived on my page of previous newsletters. Just don’t tell Max I kept them. 🙃
☝🏻Missed previous editions of this newsletter? Find them here.
☝🏻That Booking signing in Tampa is coming up FAST (July 12), and my books are ordered. Can't WAIT, hope you can make it out!
CODE BEESBLOOMS15 FOR 15% OFF SITE WIDE!
THE GREATEST OF THESE
By Erin Fitzgerald
After twenty-four years of marriage, I'm starting over. A colorless condo and a cat I never wanted, an empty existence that reminds me of everything I've lost. Work keeps me tethered to reality, but it's the distance from my teenage boys that haunts me the most...
“I’d rather fight with you than make love with anyone else.”
— The Wedding Date
Psst! Okay, so you made it to the end, but... could you see any of the pretty pictures?
If not, you'll need to add my email, author@honeymavryck.com to your safe sender/contact list. If that doesn't work, hit reply and we'll troubleshoot together!
Affiliate link alert! If you click and buy my books through any of my links, I might earn a tiny commission—like, barely enough for a coffee. Plus, someone has to fund my hockey research. (It's me. I fund it.) But hey, every little bit keeps me caffeinated and writing more swoony, snarky stories for you. Thanks for the support!
HI! YOU'RE RECEIVING THIS EMAIL BECAUSE YOU SUBSCRIBED FOR THEM FROM READING A BOOK OR FROM A BOOK GIVEAWAY. YOU CAN USE THE UNSUBSCRIBE BUTTON TO OPT OUT AT ANY TIME. I WOULD BE FOREVER GRATEFUL IF YOU AVOIDED MARKING MY EMAILS AS SPAM. THANK YOU SO MUCH!
